Day 34: Crisis

Crisis.

I had the strangest interview of my life today. It wasn’t exactly a bad interview. It was just the kind of interview that made me rethink the whole basis for my research. So I guess that is a good thing? But right now it definitely feels disorienting. I came to India thinking that I would be researching the concerns and issues that parent’s face when they have children living abroad. I expected that there would be lots to discuss… and in some topics there is. For example, parents are glad to talk about the jobs their children have and stories about their lives abroad. They love to talk about the ways their children are keeping their culture. But whenever I ask them if there are any negative effects that come from having children living abroad they can't give me any. They even insist that there are none (95% of the time). Every person I have interviewed so far has said that they are fine with the situation they are in. They all think of it as a good thing (“Bagundi!”). 

This is not what I expected. If you were to ask my mom if it is a good thing that I am in another country going to school I know she would also say that it is a very good thing. But I think she would definitely find some negative elements to it too. And she wouldn't have to think very hard about it. What is it that makes the people in this area content with being separated from their children? I feel like I need to understand a million different things before I can get an answer to that question. So needless to say, I'm floundering a little bit. Yes, floundering. Give me a few days and maybe I can get my translators to explain some of this to me. I'll just keep hitting walls in my research unless I understand family dynamics at its base first. I also need to understand what makes them happiest in life. 

So I’m taking a step back to see the bigger picture. I know four months is short but now I have something that I'm really driven to understand. I’m going to try my best because this isn’t just about research anymore. I REALLY want to understand what makes these people tick. What do they get up for every day? What do they look forward to? What have they been taught is important their whole lives? What relationships matter most to them?

What is culture? It's how people see everything around them. And today I realized that I'm seeing something very different from what the people around me are seeing. As my friend Carly said today, we are in an American/Canadian bubble in the middle of India. We aren't really experiencing their India... we are experiencing India tinted by the way we've been taught to perceive things our whole lives. I think the only way I can see it their way (even just for a second) is by asking way more questions. Hopefully they can describe what they see in a way that opens it up for me.

Back to work. 

Stéf