Wabi-Sabi

For the last two months I've been anxiously awaiting a big change in my life. And I love change. I look forward to it, I plan it out (if thats even possible), and I think about what is coming around the corner way before I should. But in the last six months I've been focusing on learning to live in the moment. And you know what? I did pretty dang well. Its been the best year of my life. I've done a lot of spontaneous new things. I've worked hard and I've definitely made lots of time to be with the people I love.

But now I'm counting the last few days of my time in Provo before I go to India on January 2nd. Yeah-- India! To be honest, I think what draws me to India the most is knowing that its going to change everything. I don't know how and I can't predict any of it. I just know I can't wait.

Today I'm writing about something that I discovered this semester in my Asian Humanities class. We were learning about Japan and the aesthetic ideals that they have emphasized over time. In the last few days I've been thinking about one of these aesthetics especially. And its what I want to really emphasize this in my life for the next little bit.

Wabi-Sabi is the idea that imperfection is beautiful-- that the simplest and most rugged things should fill us with awe. It is seeing beauty in what is broken, natural, overlooked, usually considered unappealing and   I LOVE THIS. It just feels so powerful-- to be able to see beauty in anything, even when beauty isn't obvious. Sometimes I just can't handle everything. But if I look at the little things -part by part- I think maybe I'll appreciate something brand new.

So for now I'm concentrating on that. I have to say goodbye to so many things here in Provo. Instead of tackling all of it, instead of trying to soak in everything, I'm just going to pick up little pieces of beauty here and there. I'm going to see beauty in the cracks in the side walk as I walk to school, in the way my apartment looks after we've all been studying for days and its a mess, and in the sounds of my roommates laughs. I'll try to capture the beauty of waking up feeling completely exhausted and unwilling to go out into the cold, or the beauty of not understanding myself.

There is beauty everywhere. Today, in a lecture one of my professors said that those who would like to tell us that the world is mostly bad just haven't been out in it enough. Of course there are some terrible things-- but good still lives on everywhere. I'm excited to go see some more of it.

Love,
Stéfanie

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