Day 47: Big Weddings

Last night we went to a wedding. Our Telugu teacher's friend's son was getting married so she got us invited. We got there at 8:30pm all decked out in our Sarees, with flowers in our hair and bangles on our wrists. It was funny leaving the house so late because we are usually in around that time. And we knew the wedding was going to go till pretty late. But we had no idea how late we would be staying out. 

The wedding was hosted in a beautiful reception hall. The outside was completely decorated in lights. 

Here is the beautiful courtyard all set up for a buffet feast! 

There was sooo much food! And it really was fantastic. I think we tried everything twice. Our personal favourites were the butter naan bread and the corn soup.

After dinner we went to see the wedding party. I later found out that this marriage was actually a "love marriage"! We were so surprised that it wasn't arranged! The bride and groom were classmates in university and they asked their parents permission to get married after finishing school. There is the couple, right in the middle. The bride changed her outfit 3 times throughout the night.

By 12 pm we were pretty full of food and ready to see a marriage take place... but then we found out that the ceremony wasn't going to happen for a few hours. We thought... well, if its only a few hours that's fine! So we started exploring the hall. Here we are starting to get a little hyper-- so blissfully unaware of how long we would have to wait.

 We ended up waiting till 1:30 in the morning for anything to start happening. By that time basically ALL the guests and even all the family had left or found a corner to sleep in. We just talked for a while until they began to set up for the bride's puja (prayer and offerings) ceremony. Someone explained to us that when the bride and groom came back (because they had separated to rest at around midnight) they would not be allowed to look at each other until the time of their sealing.

At 1:45 the bride came in again with her family and the priests to do her puja. The whole time she had to sit in this Lotus-egg thing. It took about an hour. She was really cute but I really can't imagine having to sit cramped like that for so long.

 At 2:45 or so she was brought up to the stage (literally carried but the men of her family in this egg) to sit in front of a veil so that she couldn't see her groom. The priests did more puja and other ritual things (much like before). They weren't allowed to see each other until 3:47 (exactly) since that was the astrologically auspicious time for their marriage. It was really special because a lady explained to me that when they finally see each other they are committing that that person will be the only one they "see" for the rest of their lives. A lot of the symbolism throughout the ritual was really romantic actually. I hadn't expected that so much.

 After 3:47 the real fun began. I'm so glad we stayed because we saw some really fun things! Though they performed at least 7 rituals after their "marriage" it was a lot more upbeat after this point.

One of the cutest rituals was when they took the rice from these platers and dumped handful after handful of rice on each other's heads. By the end they were both laughing and dodging each other. It was adorable and looked like so much fun. 

Here they are leaving to go look at their star outside HOLDING HANDS in public. How great are they? :) 

There were a few rituals after this. And when we left at 7am this is what everything looked like.... the sun was up, the party was all packed away and only close family members were still around.

We did it! We were so proud to have stuck it out so long. And now we are sorta part of the family ;) One of the aunties sat by me and explained everything throughout the most important rituals. She was the nicest woman and explained EVERYTHING to me throughout the evening in the most beautiful way. For example, she explained to me that Hindus (those in the Brahmin caste at least) believe that wedding dates and the legitimacy of a companionship can be determined astrologically. She taught me a little bit about date and star alignment and tried to show me how it would work for me, as a pisces. And she explained that the bride and groom matched perfectly-- that everything seemed to suggest that they would have a wonderful marriage. We really connected and she invited me to come visit and stay with her in Chicago (where she lives) whenever I want. I think I may actually take her up on her offer some time soon. She acted like I was one of her grandchildren haha I've wanted to go to Chicago for a while and I think it would be good for my research to see how communities and families of Telugu people live when they are outside of their country.

Overall this was my favourite event we have been to so far. It was long and I only slept for 4 hours today but it was so worth it. I will have many funny stories to tell about this night in the future! And I learned so much about Hindu beliefs from the Auntie I met; it was really very beautiful!

Stéfanie

Ps. I'm leaving for my trip up north tomorrow so hopefully I can keep blogging but I might post late on some days!