Just a Little Melancholia
Melancholy. If you said that like Megamind would then you get three brownie points from me ;)
Today that is my word. Not it a bad way- in a 'I miss my old ward, friends and apartment' kind of way. I really know that there must be a reason we decided to move here to Regency. I really know there must be a reason that I had to experience a new place. But its hard! Its hard making deep connections with people and then having to move on and meet new people. I love being at that stage where you know people really well and just feel comfortable with them. But that takes time. Or at least it does for me!
A few days ago when we were in the process of moving I felt completely fine. I kept thinking, "What is wrong with me? Why don't I feel more sad about moving away?" But I guess it just took a while for all of it to hit me. I love Canyon Terrace and the people in that ward. I made wonderful lifelong friends there. I go back, and I just can't think of any reason we should have left. Yet there must be something. There has to be something I need here. Some experience I need to have. Or else why am I no longer going to India? Why did everything work out for living here? Why don't I feel like I should go on a mission right now? Why are my plans not working?
I have faith that months from now I will look back in gratitude that I came here. Even if its hard right now I also know that it will be for my benefit. There are people here I can serve in some way. I feel so limited sometimes because I still lack some confidence. But I know the Lord will help to make me all that I want to be. All I can offer him is my heart.
This week is all about trusting the Lord. He knows the way. And even though I love having a plan and a map for my life, right now I need to practice listening for each direction that comes my way. I'm taking one step at time.
If your life is like this right now, I feel you! Its not always comfortable but there is peace to be found.
Love,
Stéfanie
Ps. As a sidenote, my brother and mother where here this week! We had a great time exploring Provo :) I was so proud to show my brother around campus. This place is wonderful and I whenever I think about it, I am just in awe about everything that I have been given through my experiences here.
Today that is my word. Not it a bad way- in a 'I miss my old ward, friends and apartment' kind of way. I really know that there must be a reason we decided to move here to Regency. I really know there must be a reason that I had to experience a new place. But its hard! Its hard making deep connections with people and then having to move on and meet new people. I love being at that stage where you know people really well and just feel comfortable with them. But that takes time. Or at least it does for me!
A few days ago when we were in the process of moving I felt completely fine. I kept thinking, "What is wrong with me? Why don't I feel more sad about moving away?" But I guess it just took a while for all of it to hit me. I love Canyon Terrace and the people in that ward. I made wonderful lifelong friends there. I go back, and I just can't think of any reason we should have left. Yet there must be something. There has to be something I need here. Some experience I need to have. Or else why am I no longer going to India? Why did everything work out for living here? Why don't I feel like I should go on a mission right now? Why are my plans not working?
I have faith that months from now I will look back in gratitude that I came here. Even if its hard right now I also know that it will be for my benefit. There are people here I can serve in some way. I feel so limited sometimes because I still lack some confidence. But I know the Lord will help to make me all that I want to be. All I can offer him is my heart.
This week is all about trusting the Lord. He knows the way. And even though I love having a plan and a map for my life, right now I need to practice listening for each direction that comes my way. I'm taking one step at time.
If your life is like this right now, I feel you! Its not always comfortable but there is peace to be found.
Love,
Stéfanie
Ps. As a sidenote, my brother and mother where here this week! We had a great time exploring Provo :) I was so proud to show my brother around campus. This place is wonderful and I whenever I think about it, I am just in awe about everything that I have been given through my experiences here.
I think you're still handling it better than me. Haha. Remember the first two hours of our new apartment? I was embarrassing. But I got you girl, and we're gonna figure out this Regency thing somehow. :) I love you most!
ReplyDeleteCheater. But I love you anyways ;)
ReplyDelete