Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief

Faith. 

It's a word I hear all the time. Sometimes I think I know what it means. And sometimes I forget. Lately I've forgotten more than I've remembered. 

But Heavenly Father--knowing what I need--helped me to come across a talk tonight by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, one of the apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Elder Holland is a powerful speaker and his words always fill my hearth with the kind of light only truth brings. But tonight they were especially beautiful to me because they reminded me what faith is and how it should be used in my life. 

The talk is called "Lord, I believe" (April 2013) and he begins by telling the Bible story of man who brings his afflicted child to be healed by Jesus (Mark 9:14-24). Jesus said unto the man, "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth". And straightway the man answered, "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief!" 

Now, I thought about that story for a while. And obviously so did Elder Holland.

Imagine this man: completely distraught, full of sorrow for his son, and willing to do anything. And he comes to this man who he hears can heal the sick. And right away, when he is asked if he believes he says yes! It was only after proclaiming his faith that he admits it might not be whole or absolute. He admits that he struggles to believe. 

However the beautiful thing is that this man does not "start [his] quest for faith by saying how much faith [he doesn't] have". He holds fast to the faith he can find in himself--and a miracle happens: his son is healed. 

Elder Holland said, "When those moments [of doubt] come and issues surface, the resolution of which is not immediately forthcoming, hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes." 

How true that has been in my life. I have had periods of doubt and fear--times when I am confused about what I know or what I believe. But when I hold on through the darkness and confusion there always comes a time when my life is filled with light and my testimony is strengthened to know that God knows me, he has a plan for me, and that he has restored his Gospel through the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints which holds the keys of the priesthood and the ordinances necessary for eternal life with Him. 

So, as Elder Holland says, "The size of [our] faith or the degree of your knowledge is not the issue--it is the integrity [we] demonstrate toward the faith you do have and the truth you already know". The Holy Ghost has burned the truth into my heart and my mind--despite the doubt Satan tries to sneak into my life--and I will stay true to that, even when I feel a little lost or broken from time to time. 

Faith is a beautiful gift. It is not worth giving up for a fact driven life. And it is absolutely worth fighting for--despite what the world says about "blind faith". Because without faith we would miss knowing our Saviour and we would miss knowing our Heavenly Father. We would also miss seeing the many miracles that they fill faithful lives with. 

I know God lives and listens to my prayers. I know Jesus Christ atoned for my mistakes and understands my trials. I know the Book of Mormon is scripture from God. 

Let faith be your first response. It isn't a weakness-it's a strength that will bring you happiness and peace. 

Love, 

Stéf